Entry #3

[Entry #3]

I was told to look out for the mosquitos here in Texas, but was pretty confident I hadn’t encountered any, that is, until I noticed a whole bunch of bites on my legs. I now have one under my arm, too, that itches like the dickens.

According to the Houston Chronicle, there are 55 varieties of mosquitoes in Houston. Science Daily notes, “We never run out of mosquitoes in Texas; we just change species with the season.” Gotta get me some bug spray...

1:30 p.m.: Trying to get the kids signed up for basketball. “Cut the Nets” is the recommended recreational league, I’m told. Just looked it up on the web and found the following for grades 4–6: “Inexperienced players are discouraged from participation.” Here’s the description:

PROGRAM OVERVIEW :

Players will be divided by gender, age, & ability for biweekly drill sessions & games.  CUTtheNETS™ goal is to construct programs benefitting aspiring, hard working, and talented players.

Because advanced concepts are taught, CUTtheNETS™ discourages 1st time or unattentive players.  Players with no previous basketball playing experience will not be admitted into the program.  Players who disrupt others are not tolerated.

Reading this, I need to remind myself that this is geared towards little kids!

Sports in Texas are seemingly all-consuming. Several of our neighbors have signs in their front yard in support of their kids’ football/soccer/basketball teams. Sports are serious business here and not for the faint of heart or clumsy of foot. (Frisbee golf anyone?) Teams are divided into those who can play and those who can’t, according to the gym teacher/basketball coach Noah met at school the other day. What about making teams fair? Not a chance.

3:30 p.m. Got in the granny mobile (our lavender-gray ’96 Corolla) to pick up the kids and the steering wheel was so hot, I could barely turn. Good thing the car is somewhat cramped, so driving with my knees was relatively easy. When I got gas, I had to input my zip code onto a metal keypad that directly faced the sun. It didn’t occur to me that the numbers would char my fingertips until I pressed the first mega-hot digit.

When we arrived home, there was a small green lizard climbing up our door. Earlier, I saw a woodpecker jack-hammering atop a tree. Between the turtle, nutria, lizards and birds, it sounds like I must be living in the bayou, but we’re in cookie-cutter suburbia here. Perhaps the area was originally swamplands though. I’ll have to look into that.

5:15 p.m. Looking for some classes for the kids and was told to look online at The Woodlands Recreation Center. So far, no sign of art or Spanish classes, but there are classes in hunter safety, fly fishing, country western dancing, golf and wilderness first aid (not for wildlife, but for people “involved in activities that take them beyond the boundaries of traditional urban emergency medical services.”) A photograph of a woman aiming a rifle the size of a Clydesdale’s leg is the featured image. There is also a class called “Fury Sluggers,” which I initially read as “Furry Sluggers,” wondering altogether what that was. Fuzzy whiffle bats?

Special events include a Family Fun Hoe Down, Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance, Mother-Son Putt-Putt Tournament and a variety of competitions, including sidewalk drawing and jack-o-lantern carving. Why are these sweet activities turned into competitions? It’s like making a sport of cupcake decorating. Kids get really inhibited very early if they’re always looking right and left to see who’s “the best.” This concerns me.

Friday, August 26

While speaking with a woman named Helen about the local congregation (there’s one synagogue in all of The Woodlands), she mentioned “the best bagel place” around, The Brooklyn Café. It happens to be across the street from the kids’ (potential) school, so I thought I’d go in and buy a dozen after dropping off the kids. I was surprised to see that while there are a variety of offerings, there aren’t the traditional flavors like pumpernickel or egg. What they do have that I’ve never seen before is their strawberry bagel. It’s not just pink; it’s neon pink and practically glows. Why then, aren’t their blueberry bagels neon blue? It would be like having one bagel for girls and another for boys. They do have what they call “doggie bagels,” and they actually look tastier than anything else—a bagel twist with cheese. What makes these especially for dogs? Would it be gross if I bought one and ate it?

After my bagel excursion, I went to a place called Randall’s that looked like a grocery store (i.e., carts outside), but was so darkened with tinted windows that I wasn’t sure if it was open or not. I walked in and smelled a delicious cinammon smell and realized that it’s one of those pre-fab scents conducted through the vents to make you subconsciously hungry. It really worked on me, though the bakery section was kinda drab, so it didn’t really do the trick in the end. As usual, I was curious about what I’d find at this grocery store, and was amused to discover signs indicating sections devoted entirely to “gravies,” and “salsas,” and "incontinence," not necessarily in that order.

Passed a street called “Interfaith.” Guess the woman who named the streets was not feeling subtle that day.

Arrived home to some free newspapers, including one devoted entirely to Montgomery High School Football. An entire paper devoted to high school football! The cover features two boy-men trying to look intimidating, each holding a football and looking down at the photographer, who must be lying on his/her back to make these kids look like they’re ten feet tall. Advertisements inside include “Sic ‘em Tigers!,” “”Go War Eagles! Go Chevy!,” "Visit the Homecoming Supply Superstore," and Ironman Sports Medicine Institute “for overcoming setbacks.”

The other paper that came included restaurant reviews and some interesting food descriptions. Food reviewer, Tanji Patton, recommended “visiting a place where jalapeno-stuffed quail wrapped in prosciutto is on the menu, or wild antelope with a honey-mustard glaze—or even a chicken-fried pecan pie!” She also mentions another personal favorite, “chicken-fried rib-eye with lobster and cream gravy...Yes, it’s that good!”

After living near the Northern California Wine Country, it was pretty fun to read her other piece about wine: “Way understand! Everything is bigger and better in Texas, including our wines, perfect for sipping in this Texas heat!” Her descriptions include, “fruity fresh and ready to start a conversation with you,” “a fruit bomb of peach and green apples,” and “endowed with sweet peach and apricots.”

1:30 p.m.: Listened to the local talk radio program on the ten-minute drive to pick up the kids. The host put out the question: “Should Governor Perry tone down his creationist stance?” He also talked about “defeating Darwin in four easy steps,” and about brainwashing “in what we call schools.” This guy is fo’ real. And quite serious, apparently.

1:45 p.m. Took the kids for a smoothie, then walked past the bagel place, where we could see the very pink bagels from afar. I bought one after all, just out of curiosity. “It’s just like a plain bagel, only pink, so it tastes better,” was Noah’s assessment. So much for today’s culinary adventure.

4:00 p.m.: Went to the post office to mail some stuff and get stamps. I read about the Pixar stamps coming out and was looking forward to getting some, but all that was available were Ronald Reagan, American flag, Liberty Bell and some other “pride of America”-type options. Where’s the fun in that?

6:30 p.m. Our new neighbor, Justin, a seventh grader across the street, told us that Ted is actually a female and that she’s a box turtle. Does that mean we should call her Tedwina from now on? Tedette? David suggested TedEx, since we’ll need to deliver her to a pond soon.

Saturday, August 27

David woke up earlier than the rest of us this morning, took Izzie and Ted to George Mitchell park and spent an hour walking around, trying to find the best spot to deposit Ted. While searching around the mud pits, bogs and lake, he spotted an armadillo. Ted/Tedwina is now safely in the comfort of her natural habitat, or so we hope...

Mid-morning: Noah asked if he could have a NutriGrain bar, then thought about the nutria in our yard and had second thoughts... Makes me wonder why this orange-toothed rodent’s name essentially means “nourishment.” For whom?

Okay, I just looked it up and evidently the only animal that finds nutrias tasty are alligators, but since their population has dwindled, the population of these orange-toothed varmints has boomed.

Noon: Our friend and former nanny, Kristin, arrived for a weekend visit, to our great delight. She now lives back in her hometown, Lake Charles, Louisiana, just a two and a half hour trip from here. When Kristin first took care of the kids, Aidan was two and Noah was five. Aidan is now only a couple inches shorter than her and Noah, at nearly 6’2”, towers over her. Pretty funny to see him bending down to give her a hug.

The kids wanted to take Kristin to Chuy’s, so after showing her around our new digs, taking a dip in the pool, and unpacking as much as we could for the day, we headed over to dinner. One thing I noticed this time around was the writing on the paper silverware wrappers. One side is printed with a message about them being sanitized (rather reassuring); the other is printed with three prayers for saying grace, one for Catholics, one for Protestants, and one for Jews.

Another thing I noticed was how dressed up women get to go out, even to Chuy’s, a seemingly casual, though bustling family restaurant. (Men, however, remained casually attired for the most part.) I saw several ladies dressed in form-squeezing mini-dresses with high, high heels, lots of makeup and swooped-up hair. I stood next to one of them, in fact, while washing my hands in the restroom and realized how shlumpy I looked in my t-shirt, capris and gray Converse slip-ons. I don't think I've seen a single person wear clogs here, come to think of it. I'd better gussy up.