Entry #46

Entry #46

Monday, February 27

11:00 a.m. I’m not an avid fan of the Super Bowl, but when it comes to The Oscars, I become an absentee parent, glued to the tube. So when commercials for Texas Trucks, HEB steaks, and a tough-talkin’ tax agent appeared, I felt like someone was waking me up from this indulgent escape. Ah, well. It was good while it lasted.

I took the pups for a walk around the George Mitchell Reserve this morning, and although I knew it would still be pretty mucky, I thought it would be fun for the dogs to have a run off-leash. Besides, I needed a long walk myself.

When Izzie was at her absolute wettest and filthiest, she decided to greet an elegantly dressed woman by jumping up at her enthusiastically. After apologizing about my motley dog's behavior, I found out that while this woman is originally from Germany, she now lives in South Africa and is a definite dog person (phew). “I had 12 Leonburgers at one time, after our dogs had puppies,” she said. She now has two Rhodesian Ridgebacks who enjoy running around their "country home"—a game reserve outside Durban.

“What kinds of animals do you have on the reserve?” I asked. “Everything except lions and elephants,” she said casually. Her grandkids spend about a month each summer there. Can you imagine? Going to grandma’s house takes on an entirely new dimension.

Tuesday, February 28

1:45 p.m. I stopped at the YMCA this morning to pick up the Red Cross certificate Aidan was supposed to receive following his babysitting course. The woman helping me told me that the internet system has been down. “We've spoken to each other more in the last day than we ever have,” she said, referring to her co-workers, who usually communicate via email despite being proximate to one another. Maybe there’s something to be said for putting aside the keyboard and having a real conversation every now and then.

7:00 p.m. After dinner this evening, I turned around to find the puppy not just nearing the dishwasher, but standing completely on top of it. He was obviously hankering for leftovers. Once the dishwasher was closed and running, he put his paws up on the counter looking to see what else he could scavenge. 

Wednesday, February 29

11:30 a.m. Happy Leap Day! I had a friend in college whose birthday was February 29. Since her birthday happened only once every four years, she could honestly say she turned five years old while in college. We got a kick out of that.

I took Teddy to the vet earlier this morning, one that was recommended by the founder of Operation Pets Alive. It’s located about ¼ mile outside The Woodlands, though it feels like it might as well be out in the country—just an entirely different atmosphere. It felt real. Somehow the veneer of The Woodlands instantly melts away as soon as you drive beyond the city (or rather, suburban) limits.

The first person I encountered after walking into the office was a woman carrying a nearly hairless, shivering Chihuahua. “He don’t like me; he only likes my mom,” she said. “He didn’t like the truck ride neither.” Hanging from her belt were two rhinestone-studded phone cases, one sporting a large, bedazzled cross. Her long nails were meticulously polished in vertical red-and-white stripes. “You’re cute,” she said to Teddy, “Even though I don’t like big dogs. I have a Pekingnese at home.”


Teddy, now at a whopping 25 pounds (and only three months old) has a clean bill of health. He was a real trooper.

3:00 p.m. I just read on The Huffington Post that two cows escaped the Houston rodeo yesterday:

“Two cows briefly roamed the streets of Houston, Texas, after they escaped a rodeo setup...Daisy and Lucy were startled by loud noises when handlers were unloading them prior to the event...Although Lucy was captured within moments of her escape, Daisy decided to give workers..a bit of a workout...”

I can’t really blame the poor cows. Rodeo performances are not usually “cattle-friendly,” as far as I’ve seen. They’re more of an opportunity for cowboys to show off their riding and roping skills—at the cost of cows being chased, caught, tied-up, and generally freaked out in front of hundreds of people. I’d try to escape, too, if I were a cow. (Growing up with the name Elisse, my name was often mistaken for that of a famous heifer, the Borden Cow, Elsie.)

Thursday, March 1

1:00 p.m. According to the weather forecast yesterday, there was 93% humidity, but only 20% chance of rain. How is this possible? Doesn’t 100% humidity mean that it's raining? Then logic would follow that 93% humidity means that it’s on the verge of raining, right? “Welcome to Texas!” was all Aidan’s teacher had to say when I asked her about this puzzling phenomenon.

I spotted some new faux wildlife while taking Izzie and Teddy for a walk near town center this morning: giant, leaping stags, each frozen in mid-leap. I also saw a faux alligator’s head with glowing eyes, as well as a defective fake rock (a prominent crack revealed its true identity). 

Towards the end of the walk, I had a flashback to a Disneyworld ride from my childhood. It was part of Tomorrowland: “A glimpse into the future.” Everything I walked past—the perfectly timed waterfalls, meticulous landscaping, sparkly new buildings and freshly paved sidewalks—were all completely man-made, controlled, and manufactured. I felt like I had fallen right into Tomorrowland—that, or The Truman Show.

Friday, March 2

10:00 a.m. While walking Izzie and Teddy this morning, I realized that today is the last full day we’ll have with him. As I write, the pups are sleeping together on the mattress in my study (now the official dog bed). Izzie’s paw is resting on Teddy’s tail. Seems Izzie has become as attached to Teddy as the rest of us.

Saturday, March 3

6:30 a.m. Teddy greeted me this morning with the usual ebullience, only he didn't have his usual corn-chip-puppy smell, but reeked of something putrid. Turns out the stench was coming from his paws—they were crusted with a "freshly made" batch of poop.

I jumped out of bed and discovered that Teddy had relieved himself on the fabric sofa, then stepped in it. He then decorated our off-white New Zealand wool rug with a trail of paw prints, trotted off to another rug, then to our freshly washed sheets. Do you think he knew he was leaving today?

Both dogs got a bath this morning—Teddy for obvious reasons and Izzie, just because she was due. Neither were particularly stoked about this, but I felt much better afterwards. After baking some fresh pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, the house smelled better, too.

Later that morning, Teddy cleared out the remainder of his colon on the upstairs wall-to-wall carpet after having a nice long romp with Izzie. Once again, I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed. Talk about a crappy day.

Ironically, in the past two days we’ve received multiple advertisements in the mail for professional rug cleaning. I think we’ll be taking advantage of the “spring cleaning specials” very soon.

1:00 p.m. I dropped Teddy off around noon with a woman who volunteers for Operation Pets Alive and also works for Continental (she’s been a flight attendant for 20 years. “People in The Woodlands kind of act like flight attendants,” Noah remarked.). I got the crate, the health certificate, etc., and she kindly took him to the airport.

It’s heartening that Teddy’s flying to my parents’ house, and that he’ll be with my sister, so the “good-bye” wasn’t a final one. 

7:10 p.m. My parents called to let me know that Teddy had arrived safely in Ohio and was sitting on my mom’s lap, giving her kisses. Hopefully he won’t decide to create any fecal artwork at their house anytime soon. I miss him already (despite his decorative parting gifts).