Entry #6

Entry #6

Friday, September 2

Listening to local talk radio in the morning is fascinating. Today, the radio host began his show by discussing his excitement over purchasing a brand new bible, the version from his childhood. He grew up with the NASB, which I learned stands for the New American Standard Bible, then switched to the NIV (New International Version). I never even knew there were so many kinds to choose from, and that it was actually okay to mark them up—quite the opposite of how I was raised.

The host proceeded to talk about Al Gore and how global warming is just a way for him to selfishly promote himself. Hmmm...let’s see: It’s been over 100 degrees every day for what, two months now, the hottest summer ever on record. I don’t think it’s a mere coincidence.

There’s a sporting goods store here called the Academy, a chain that spans across the southern states. I’ve been looking for a basketball hoop for the kids and was told to look there, so I went online to see if they had what we were looking for in stock. Their home page showed alternating ads for Airsoft guns and accessories, dove hunting gear, and “Show Your Color Grills” featuring college football team logos. I wonder what the Academy’s ads would feature in Berkeley: mountain bikes, hiking gear and frisbee golf discs perhaps?

7:30 p.m. Went for a swim with Aidan...that is, until I was visited by a wasp the size of my thumb. I thought it would go away, but it was hovering right above my head. Aidan and I went underwater, hoping it would go away, but it visited us again as soon as we came up for air. Then another Land of the Lost-size wasp, this time a red one, came by, so we figured it was time to go inside. We covered our heads in towels, and ran inside. We’re total wasp wimps.

9:30 p.m.: I went online and happened upon The WoodlandsTX.com. It’s the closest thing I’ve found to Berkeley Parents Network, with various forum sections, including one about an empty building near our local Ace Hardware store. The question was: "What is being built there?" Rumors were that a Trader Joe’s was coming in, which was great news to me.

The interchange went as follows:

“They're closer in size to a CVS or Walgreens. Most of the products are private label, which lowers costs. Don't expect to see Kraft, P&G, Coca-Cola, etc products. It's a good store to find stuff if you're on a diet, but you have to watch out for their cookies, as they are delicious, but full of calories.”

 “Well, this place doesn’t really appeal to me personally, but I wish them well.”

Having shopped at Trader Joe’s for many years, it would never occur to me to describe Trader Joe’s as a health food store with caloric cookies. I sure hope one comes to town. (I guess a PetSmart or the like is being built in the mystery space, after all. There are plenty of empty retail spaces still available, though, so I remain hopeful.)

Out of curiosity, I clicked on the classified section, only to find an array of mediocre furniture, run-of-the-mill art pieces, plastic kiddie stuff, and three mounted animal heads for sale at $200–$300 each: a javelina, a mountain goat, and an antelope. What amazing creatures these must have been, each now staring blankly for eternity at a beige suburban living room.

Saturday, September 3

The reality of being in cookie-cutter suburbia  really hit us, prompting an overwhelming sense of lethargy and inertia. Noah commented that even Izzie seemed be as active as “a rug” today. Good thing we’re going to Austin tomorrow.

The kids have really wanted to play basketball, so we decided to look on Craigslist with hopes of finding a freestanding basketball hoop. To our delight, we found one for only $60!

After bringing home the basketball hoop, David put it together, ready for action...that is, until a gust of wind blew it, breaking the flimsy backboard beyond repair. So much for $60 well spent. En route to take the kids bowling (they’d been asking us for awhile), we stopped at the sporting goods store and looked for a replacement for the backboard, only to find that we were completely ripped off. The entire setup that we’d bought cost $69 new! I’d assumed that most of these freestanding setups would be at least several hundred dollars. Should’ve come here first, after all....So now we’re left with a useless stand and metal pole, unless we spend another $200 for a new backboard and attachment. We met a nice guy who coaches basketball fundamentals, however, so maybe our venture wasn’t a total loss. He teaches at a Baptist church about 20 minutes away.

Got stuck in traffic en route home. In the suburbs on a Saturday? Found out the throngs were in town for a Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow concert. Yikes.

Tuesday, September 5 (Back from Austin)

Noah said that our trip to Austin “wasn’t an escape from reality, but an escape to reality.” It was really a breath of fresh air.

David put on the Eagles' album, Hotel California, as we drove out of dodge. Most apt. “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave...” 

On our way out, we saw a man selling miniature dachshund pups on the side of the road. About 30 feet away, another man was selling bull terrier pups. Each was set up like a lemonade stand, with a card table and sign. Seems like a recipe for creating very nervous, asthmatic pups with all that truck exhaust and zillions of cars roaring by. I'm just the sort of sucker who would stop my car and want to get one though. Luckily David was driving.

We were entertained just looking out the window. Lots of signs advertising everything from “the world’s best chicken-fried steak” to “rustic western décor.”

Here are some places we passed along the way:

Magnolia Auto Parts: Your Redneck Shopping Center!

Buster’s Crawfish

Spurs Country & Western Dance Hall & Saloon

Taxidermy/Deer Processing/Sausage (one-stop shopping)

McDonald’s: “Try our new English Pub Burger”

Burger King (directly across the street): “Try our new California Burger!”

Show Goats

Champion Cowboy Church

Nada Ranch

Whoop Stop

What struck me most was seeing trailer parks next to model home developments, tack and feed stores next to chain stores. The juxtaposition of wealthy and poor was impossible to ignore. Dilapidated shacks jut up against sprawling new houses, and there are endless lots and acreage for sale.

Along the way, David spotted a Buddhist Retreat Center, located between a taxidermist and Baline’s Hair Salon.

We saw countless billboards for “Guns & Ammo” in capital letters, along with signs for a variety of museums: Cotton Gin, Naval Aviation, Texas Basketball, Antique Cars...We also spotted a sign for the Wendish Museum, though we had no idea what it was. ("All things Wendy-ish?" asked David.) Turns out it’s a museum dedicated to “preserving the history of the Texas Wends, Slavic immigrants from Lusatia in Easter Germany, now called Sorbs. Who knew?

We passed a street called "Old Potato Road." 

We decided to stop at a strip of brightly colored storefronts that advertised folk art and such, but they were merely junk bins. The front door signs were the most entertaining part of all: “Hey! No Restroom, No Cell Phone, Yes Well-Behaved Kids and Dogs, No Photos Inside, No Smoking In Yard...Glad You’re Here!” and another, “If You’re Smoking in This House You Better Be on Fire.” A friendly-looking elderly couple sat in front of their home with a yard so littered with stuff it looked like another junk shop. The only reason we knew it wasn’t a retail establishment was the “No Trespassing” sign posted on their fence. Oh.

Since there weren’t any markets nearby, we drove on in search of something cold to drink. We happened upon a store called Buc-Ee’s. I wasn’t quite sure what kind of animal their mascot was until I saw “Buc-Ee’s Beaver Nuggets” on the shelves—something sweet and crunchy (as opposed to being made of beaver, which would be neither sweet nor crunchy, I’d imagine). David did purchase some beef jerky, which looked pretty vile and smelled equally so. Aidan tried some and liked it well enough. Izzie loved it.

As we neared Austin, we saw a building with large solar panels in front of it and a billboard for Green Bank with the advertisement, “If you wear flip-flops, you can bank here.” We had reservations to stay at The Driskill Hotel, an historic landmark built in 1886 by cattle baron Jesse Driskill, which is not only beautiful, but also dog-friendly, too.

While looking for a parking spot, we passed places along Sixth Street called Tears of Joy Hot Sauce Shop, The Dizzy Rooster, Chuggin’ Monkey, Peckerheads, and The Best Wurst before arriving at the hotel. We parked in front of a wall mural of an enormous longhorn. I took a photo of Noah standing in front of it and for a change he looked absolutely teeny.

We took a long walk along the river, hoping to see the flurry of Mexican bats that fly out at dusk during the summertime, supposedly quite a dramatic spectacle. We were a bit early, so we kept on walking, trying to find a good spot for dinner. Ran into lots of families with kids, people with dogs...a friendly vibe all-around. “This is the happiest I’ve been since I’ve come to Texas,” said Noah. I think it was the sense of the familiar—Austin is far more similar to Berkeley than The Woodlands or Houston, though it’s still unmistakably Texan (with perhaps a bit of Portland thrown in).

I’ve heard that Austin is an outdoor town, and I could see lots of bikers, joggers, people kayaking, swimming. Everyone seemed like they were out and about, regardless of the heat. Lots of college-age folks, too. (Apparently the UT Austin campus has a whopping 50,000 students.)

While we could tell that Austin is indeed the liberal bastion of Texas, we did spot a truck with an Obama sticker that said “Liar” where the original word “Hope” had been. I had to look twice before I realized that flames were coming out of Obama’s head and he looked oddly yellow.

Just a block beyond that we passed an elderly man wearing Indian-style clothes, sleeping with his legs spread in such a way that he was hanging out for all to see. I was horrified because he looked dead, but Noah, who had been waiting for us to catch up, said he saw his chest move and couldn’t stop laughing after seeing “an old man sleeping in a yoga pose.” He was pretty darn flexible, it’s true. Still...

The following morning, we discovered there was a triathlon happening, with the cycling part just a block away. Knowing we couldn’t really drive anywhere, we walked to a café (not a Starbuck’s—hurray!) for some coffee and hot chocolate for the kids, and hung out in the hotel. A most relaxing morning.

When the street was clear, we drove around, passing a place called Mooseknuckles, and a sign, “We will do all non-pregnancy-related labor” among other entertaining sights. Whole Foods’ home base is in Austin, and since we don’t have one in the Woodlands, I wanted to get a few things before we left. David wanted to check out the local record and book stores, and I spotted a few art galleries (including one with polished longhorn horns on the sidewalk) that looked interesting. The kids were rarin’ to swim at the Barton Springs Pool, a public 1000-foot long swimming pool filled entirely by the local spring.

Upon entering Zilker Park (where Barton Pool is located), we learned about a dog-friendly section adjacent to the pool. Izzie was a bit tentative at first, but ended up having a blast, and it was a great opportunity to cool off, since it was over 100 degrees outside. I stayed with Izzie while David and the kids ventured to the pool. Lots and lots of tattooed folks around, including one with the word “Scram!” inked across his protuberant belly. (Guess he won’t be asked to dress up as Santa Claus this year.) Saw another person with wax marker numbers written across her arm and leg from the triathlon, soaking her sore knees. Izzie was approached by dogs of all sizes and plenty of little kids, which was fun to watch.

On the way home, we noticed a huge billow of clouds that looked like it was coming from the ground rather than the sky. Turns out it was coming from an enormous fire in Bastrop, Texas, that has destroyed more than 1000 homes and 25,000 acres, the largest ever of its kind in that area. The smoke we were seeing was from 30 miles away. Luckily human (and animal) casualties have been minimal, since the firefighters successful evacuated everyone before the fire spread.

After two hours of driving, everyone was thirsty, so David stopped at a Wal-Mart to get some drinks. I really didn’t want to go in, since I’m not a fan of that store, but my bladder beckoned, so I made my way toward the restroom. En route, I walked past the gun and gun accessory aisles, the exercise equipment/knives/golf equipment aisle (all in the same section), and then finally to the restroom. On my way out, I noticed that the hunting/knives area was directly adjacent to the computer supplies/school supplies section, which made me wonder why the store was set up like that. “Kids like to hunt around here,” was Noah’s reply.